Confessions of an Old Newbie

Is it just me or does getting old really suck? Sometimes. Lately it seems like someone has been violently shaking the sand through my hourglass because I feel like I'm missing most of the days of my life. I suppose the main difference between my life and the aforementioned soap opera is that I can still go for two years and something will actually happen in my life. (BTW, how is Sammy doing at getting revenge on Lucas? My point, exactly.)

The fact that I'm even attempting to write a blog - and I'm a complete newbie when it comes to this - tells me that I'm not only a little behind the times if I'm just getting started with this, but it also starts waving the old-person flag in my face. Oh well, at least my wife doesn't have to throw all my food in the blender just so I can eat it ... although I'm not sure I'd refuse it if she did ... hmmm.

Three events - maybe we can call them turning points - have led me to the revelation that I'm getting old. First, I made the rather depressing discovery a few weeks ago that I can't eat pizza before I go to bed. What's up with that?!? Pizza is too good to not be enjoyed right before eight consecutive hours of sleep, giving the gooey crust and extra-greasy toppings more than enough time to congeal in my arteries. I guess it's not that I can't eat pizza ... it's that I shouldn't eat pizza. But I digress ... it's pizza, people! It doesn't help matters that, as I lay in bed, wide awake and feeling the subtle effects of my indulgence, I can only really think of one thing. That's right ... how nice would it be to have another piece of pizza? Eventually I drift off not having counted sheep, but rather counting slices of pizza. Yup, I'm getting old.

The second "take your pills when you have dinner at 4:30 'cause you'll be in bed by 7 ... get a job as a WalMart greeter ... make sure you don't drive any faster than 30 km/h ..." agedly-challenging discovery I made was kind of what prompted this blog entry. I can no longer voluntarily sleep past 7am. And no, it's not because I had pizza the night before. Yes, I get up for work everyday before 7. But I digress ... it's the weekend, people! I should be able to sleep until at least 8:00! And why, all of a sudden, do I feel the overwhelming needs to watch the National News at night and be all tucked in my bed by 10pm? Remember the days when getting up at 8 meant getting up early? And it didn't really count as sleeping-in if you got up before 11? Ahhhh, good times. No more sand in that hourglass. The rules have changed. I guess I'll be writing my blog at 6:45 every morning.

Finally, oldness is setting in because in 35 days, I'll be a dad ... which, of course, will make my wife a mom (and a great mom, I anticipate). As a first-time parent, it's more than a little nerve-wracking to think the entire life of a little baby is now your responsibility. In case you're wondering how I can be so sure that I'll be a dad in exactly 35 days, we are adopting. We travel to China in mid-July to meet our little bundle of joy and begin our new adventure together. So in a month, it won't matter that I can't fall asleep or that I'm up early. I imagine I'll have some pretty cute and busy company. Am I nervous? Absolutely. Scared? A little. Excited? You bet.

And now, everytime I look at her picture on the fridge, I'm reminded of what really matters. Maybe getting old isn't so bad, after all.