It's Like Going for a Bike Ride

Toronto 5
Ottawa 1 (Final)

This score could suggest only one thing: it must be playoff time.

That a team could go an entire season and be utterly shilacked by their bitter rival is one thing. That they could put together an almost miraculous run to make the playoffs is another thing. That they could pummel Ottawa in the months of April and May is certainly nothing new.

Regardless of tonight's results, however, the Leafs have been officially eliminated from the playoffs. Not because they lost, but because someone else won.

When you think about it, though, this conclusion is an easy one to draw: had our boys in the blue and white not spent all of January and parts of February sucking dirty toilet water, we'd be firmly entrenched in the middle of the playoff pack.

But here we are, on the outside looking in. Just like Michael Jackson at an all-boys school.

The playoff atmosphere was magical again tonight. It was a commanding 5-1 victory led, in large part, by the youngsters on the Leafs roster and backstopped by a goalie that literally came out of nowhere to steal the number-one job for the last 10 games of the season. The only consolation, other than the win, was to see Darcy Tucker man-handle Daniel "Turtle" Alfredsson toward the end of the game.

It's a hard pill to swallow when your playoff fate is determined by two other teams, one who is also fighting for their playoff life, and another who is fighting for top spot in the division. Their game was decided with 10.7 seconds left in overtime, just enough to give Tampa the one extra point they need to push Toronto over the edge. Leafs fans everywhere would like to thank Carolina goaltender Martin Gerber for doing a major-league belly flop on the ice about three full seconds before Marty St Louis scored on his breakaway.

Is this the kind of hockey we can expect from Carolina in the playoffs? Lackluster? Pretty much passion-free? Finding it difficult to beat a team who will likely need their last game of the season just to make the playoffs? Unfortunately for Carolina, there's still a good chance they could meet Tampa in the playoffs. Not a match-up I'd be looking forward to. But then, what can you expect when you're up against a team that is coached by the evil twin brother of the Fonz from Happy Days?

As I write this, I'm listening to a Toronto radio station's post-game report. When I lived in Ontario I tuned in regularly after the games to hear Leafs fans from all over the province call in and rail when they lost, but sing their praises when they won. The wheels on the bandwagon were certainly feeling the pressure. So when I tuned in tonight - part of my grieving process that I've gone through for the past 30 seasons at this time of the year - I expected nothing less than the usual. But somehow, the Leafs seem to have earned their way out of hockey purgatory. Many fans are showing a bizarre kind of sympathy rarely seen in Toronto. For now. That's not to say the gloves won't come off later.

So, let the off-season speculation begin. Bryan McCabe is already talking like he's left Toronto. I'm sure Mats Sundin trade-talk will heat up once the playoffs are over. And then there's the goaltending situation. Are we laying our hopes on a 1/2-million dollar a year goalie even if he has had a spectacular run at the end of the season? And what of Jason Allison and Eric Lindros, the two big names who were supposed to bring a renewed hope to Leaf-land but will end the regular season injured?

And what about Pat Quinn and John Ferguson? Early talk out of Toronto would suggest both of them will be back next year. But if one of them will go, it will likely be Quinn. Should Ferguson go, too? Maybe, but the likelihood of canning him this early in his tenure seem pretty low. If you ask me, it's the boomerang's above these guys - the dolts who own and "run" Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment ... the same one's who are the masterful architects of the Raptors - who should be shown the door.

As for guys like Nik Antropov and Wade Belak, they can be handed matching pairs of cement shoes and sent on their way. Oh, wait a minute, Belak already has his cement shoes. He calls them "skates."

My wife tells me that now that the Leafs season is over, we can go for more family bike rides. I love her, but that hurts. There's nothing quite like a bicycle seat that's far too small for your hind-quarters, and torques you in the wrong place every time you hit a bump, to remind you of some of the cruelty of life. But you keep pedalling anyway knowing that the cruelty can't last much longer.

We're Leafs fans and proud of it. We should be used to this kind of ending to our season, some would say. Nonetheless, come quickly, Lord Stanley, come quickly. We can't pedal much longer.