Anticipation
Anticipation has a way of doing funny things to a person.
Like in Junior High - or for some of us, college - when you're trying to work up enough guts to ask out the girl you adore without looking like the mayor of Nerdville. It's all about first impressions, and as the Pert Plus shampoo commercial from yesteryear reminds us ... you never get a second chance to make a first impression. You have to look good right from the start or you may as well pack up and go home. Unless the girl you're asking out does something that unexpectedly embarrasses her - like belches or farts. Or picks her nose when she thinks nobody is looking, but you've got a front-row seat to what looks like a gold-digging contest and she's there to win!
Or we say stuff like, "I can't wait..." I can't wait ... for the hockey season to start (I'll save this one for another blog). Or I can't wait ... until the weekend. Or I can't wait ... to find the nearest bathroom with a full supply of toilet-paper (???)
No matter how you slice it, anticipation tends to affect you in ways you can't predict because, as much as you may plan and prepare, you don't really know exactly how things will shake down. You think differently. You respond differently. You approach things differently. Some things become less certain. Some things become more certain. Some things could go either way.
Right now, I feel like I'm pulling a code red; the anticipation levels are pretty high. Tomorrow, we leave for China to get Kaitlyn. Needless to say, I didn't sleep too well last night, and I'm not really anticipating a great night tonight either. Not because I'm nervous to fly. And I'm not nervous because the food scares us a little and we're not looking forward to the prospect of eating nothing but granola bars and pudding for the next two weeks. It's all about the anticipation of meeting Kaitlyn.
I guess more than anything, we're anticipating parenthood and how that totally changes your life. Watching her grow up and reach certain milestones in her life: taking her first steps, saying her first words and a bunch of other firsts I can't think of right now ... I'm not willing to think beyond those moments just yet. It's all about anticipating how our lives - and hers- will forever change on Monday.
Even as we wade through the uncertainty of anticipation, I find that it's a road I'm willing to travel. In fact, I wouldn't trade if for anything in the world because I know what is waiting at the end of the road. In a lot of ways I feel like the kid in Junior High - OK, college - who's anticipating asking out the girl he adores without making himself look stupid. And as I endure the next 24 hours - wishing it would go by a lot faster than it is - I often find myself thinking, "I can't wait until Monday."
posted by Kevin Weeks @ 6:48 a.m.
10 comments
10 Comments:
Hi - You have brought tears to my eyes and I just want to sit and have a good cry right about now. The anticipation of meeting your daughter for the first time is just going to be so overwhelming but so exciting at the same time and I am sure you won't know what to do - laugh, cry, or both. Just wrap your arms around her and love her and make her feel so welcome that she will wrap her arms around you and welcome you into her life. God has given you such a wonderful "gift" and I know that she will have a wonderful home, be well loved and well fed and just blossom. God bless you are you fly to China, while you are in China and then to Chatham to meet the "rest of the family". I will be there with open arms to greet my new granddaughter. I love her so much already. My prayers will be with you. Love always, Mom
AWWW!! Linda, you're so cute. I can't imagine how excited you must feel and that the "anticipation" must be very strong for you right now as well. Becoming a grandmother for the first time will be so exciting for you! You are going to have to make a lot more trips out to "god's country" (as my dad calls it)here in Saskatchewan now. I am sure that Kaitlyn is going to be showered in so much love once she meets her extended family in Ontario.
As for the brownie thing, I must be confused. I was sure that when Stacey and I devoured half the pan of brownies that she said it was her mom's brownies, but maybe I am mistaken. Perhaps the spell that the brownies put me under made me dilusional and I made that up? Or maybe it was Kevin's mom Linda that made them? Or my mom? haha I guess we'll need Stacey to sort this out for me. Regardless, wherever they came, they are more than welcome to return! My compliments to the chef.
Kevin, I just wanted to say what a great writer you are! You have such a talent for writing a story. Once again, have a great trip, congratulations once again on becoming parents in three days, and embrace this time of anticipation. Enjoy your last day together as a couple; just the two of you!
Luv Raquel
Hi Kevin and Stacey....this blog thing is kind of cool.
Kevin, you are such a good writer. Merlin could sure use you to teach there......ever thought of throwing away that college job and attacking public school???
I am sooooooooooo excited for both of you. Kaitlyn will certainly be in a loving home with lots of opportunities she may not have if it wasn't for the two of you. We hope to see you in Chatham in a few weeks.....Kaitlyn Grace can meet Kailyn Grace. Their names are so similar, if their personalities are.....look out!!!
Hello Again, I am still navagating my way around this site and just saw the one you wrote today, Blog is it you all it?
Anyway I can tell you that Linda is not he only one in tears reading all you are writing and thinking! I think I have made that trip to China and back again umpteen times this last couple of weeks, and never left home to do it either! This will be a life changing experience for both of you now, but one you will never regret doing. When you are in 'labor' delivering your child (and this is no different for you two either) the pain you feel is so incredible you think at the time you will never, ever forget it and I also remember thinking I could not take even one more pain and I certainly didn't think I had the energy to 'push' anymore either. But I did and as a result had four of the most beautiful, loving children anyone could ever wish for. It will be the same way with both of you, once you 'see' that precious little girl whome God has hand picked just for you, then you will instantly forget all the pain you went through to get her. This is the most precious gift that our Father gives to us, cherish her, love her, protect her, and she will love you back ten fold. As the song goes "It WILL be worth it all .... when we see Jesus" But in this case Kaitlyn!
love you ALL, take care and I'll be running with open arms when you get back home again. love Mum xo
Hi Kevin & Stacey , Can;t Imagine how excited you must be on your abventure , but at the end of your journey will be your precious reward . God;s speed & a safe journey , but with man;s invention , not a slow boat to China !!!!. So looking forward to seeing your special little girl, who is loved already by so many . Love Carole & Graham xxxx
Hi you two, first i must say how great this site is, and what a sense of humour you have Kevin! we have read all the blogs to date and the comments, and really enjoyed it.
well as you might guess mum has been keeping track of your journey and relaying it to us, she said she even saw you take off at the airport!.
we maybe in England but our hearts are with you all at this most exciting time in your lives.
we would love to be over there on your return but i am sure mum won't let us miss out anything with pics and emails.
take care now, God Be With You All
much love Rosemarie and Pete xxx
Kevin and Stacey,
I can't image the joy you must be feeling at this moment, before long you will be holding your beautiful daughter in your arms. The wait will definately be worth it!!! We wish you all the best on your journey and can't wait to meet your precious daughter. Are thoughts and prayers are with you,
God Bless,
Del, Tracey, Alyssa and Sydney,
(and all the children in the YMCA childcare)
Hi Stacey & Kevin,
As I write this you are about 3.5 hours away from landing in China!
I sure hope the trip went ok for you both and you were able to get some sleep. I have been tracking the flights ever since you took off, in fact I watched you take off from Regina, and I tell you that was REALLY weird! The have a web cam set up there and they update it every 60 seconds so I watched till I saw you were up in the air. Right now accoring to the Beijing Airport site you will be arriving 5 mins early, better than the bunch that came from Toronto though as their flight is saying they are going to land an hour and 15 mins LATE! You can tell Caroleanne she should be glad she didn't go that route now.
Anyway I better see if I can get SOME sleep although I not likely will get much till I know you are there safe and sound. Take care and try and get an early night tonight if you can, you have a big day tomorrow now. I'll be thinking of you both and that precious baby!
love you lots, Mum xoxoxo
Hope your flight to China was safe and uneventful! You should be very close to China now....it's 2:30 am my time and I heard you were to arrive around 3:00 am. We are leaving for camping today (this afternoon) and I wanted to wish you all the best this week in China! Enjoy all the scenery and take lots of pictures, relax and have a great time....most of all enjoy Katilyn and all the wonders that parenthood has to offer. Congradulations MOM and DAD!!!
I will be thinking of you, have a great time and give her a big hug and kiss from Aunt Jenny!!!!
Take Care,
Love
Jen
I'll keep your house in one piece myself thank you very much
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